When I Call Your Name its Like a Little Prayer

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=peUtvhvV5DU - Aion (Push You Down)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBlBGjHFFp0 - Aion (Alpha Omega)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzUhwqDTWp0 - Aion (Sinner in Me)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSwKRWPq8CA - Aion (heaven's lie)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C9Rv_9zy1wo - Bakura (Batty)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q0GMcEIVhe8 - Yuki/Kyo (I hate everything about you)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fP3PZ0DBW4 - Ryuichi and Shuichi (if you were gay!)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SlVqlII-70o Marik Down with the sickness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GsbbmBgqTY Yuki/Kyo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kVp-qmz6wgI " "

ooo I'm so excited! I'm going to anime north in a few hours!!!! I'm all dressed pretty too ^^ a shirt thats pink and form fitting and has sparkly jewly things and my nice black pants and a fuzzy pink hat! and I saved up so I can get some cool stuff as well! Plus I again aplied for welfare, I have a socail worker now so its better this time... it still makes me nervous tho, its stress full, but I just wanna go have fun soon! I just wish I could forget about it -_- I'm listening to phantom of the opera, do I ever feel cultered XD ooo I'm so excited! Its hard to sit still. listening to the calming music isnt helping, and for some reason I'm very very nervous.... *sigh* I just wanna calm down for a sec but its really hard. I gotta leave in half an hour ^^ Its all rainy outside.... I hope it dpesnt wreck my pants, oh dear god I sound girly now -_-

NEW ICONS ROCK

Riki

.... DAMN YOU BLOCKBUSTER! WHAT THE FUCK? THREE FREAKING SHEVLES OF BROKEBACK MOUTAIN, THREE! BUT ONLY THRE COPIES OF ADVENT CHILDREN!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!!!! DAMN IT I WANT MY SEXY CLOUD AND SEFFY AND KADAJI AND THE REST OF THEM!!!

...

...

...

...

...

... right. Moving on.

Skipped school today due to the fact its not worth the bus fair on a half day, and school is becoming nothing but a gaint ball of headachy torment -_-

Otherwise... just trying to kill time... I got like... HOURS and HOURS until Ryan gets here.... skipping school can be boring -_- but I would rather be bored then tormented *nodnod*

Also, I wish I knew how to use photoshop, I wanna color my own pictures ;_; it would make them look so much nicer, as I cant shade a all, and it looks sad when I try *sigh*

Anyway, yeah, nothing else I much feel like talking about soooo....

Oh yeah. I just got this e-mail from a friend of one of my old internet buddies, Jack. Well the first e-mail told me that Jack died. Which was sad... a shot to the stomach that reminded me that we are alll mortal *shudder* I liked Jack, he was so nice to talk to. I was friends with him when I was still living with Victoria. Its wierd to think about all that happened, I'm so different now... THEN Jack's friend responded to an e-mail that I wrote to Jack, and it was talking about he talking to Victoria's dad and it was SO WIERD cuz I feel so different now. I cant imagine laughing with them.

No big loss believe me -_- it was just a wierd little stab from the past.

ANYWAY so now I think I'll wrap this up as I've run out of things to say. Mayhaps I will go hunt fanfics or something...

Title: Brotherly Lovin'
Rating:PG13, for licking XD
Warnings: twincest, licking, much blush, cencetory wings

( You know you want to, click me! )

YAY! And now, for something even more frowned apon by society!

Title: How come?
Rating: PG
Warnings: More incest

( you've already sinned, click me and sin some more!! )

Best. Thing. EVER! Go, just go, this is awsome.

http://www.vgcats.com/comics/?strip_id=126

Title: Uncertainties

Fandom: Arc The Lad; Twilight of the Spirits

Pairing: Darc/Kharg

Rating: Erm, PG13

Summary: If he couldnt remember anything, how could he decide what to do? How could he not believe what they told him if his mind was otherwise empty?

Warnings : Twincest (DUH) boys kissing, violence

Notes: I PUT ART BEFORE GRAMMAR XD *cough* I'm sorry if you find my writting style a little difficult, but if you keep reading its clearer, the first bit is artisticly vauge...

AND I may write more to this, may. Or write something from Kharg's POV, or a prequal, or a sequal... Maybe. It depends if people like this idea, give good comments, blah blah blah...

http://community.livejournal.com/going_to_hell__/3765.html#cutid1

Yeah yeah I dont know how to do a fancy link, hush you! Just click the linky and read the ficcie!

DAMN I am in such a bad mood.... just not having a fucking good day. Three horrible grusome nightmares in a row made me wake up in a bad mood, then I got soaked on the walk over, hungry, and my headphones crap out AGAIN. Then Ryan's mom says something that makes me feel like total shit, like a total worthless leech. *sigh* Then I clean. Then people start comming over for DD, in which the DM is a total jerk. Gives us way to many kills, which we told him not to do. Makes us feel like we're gunna die, sp many damn orcs, then as soon as we're doing okay throws more at us, keeps doing this over and over... we keep telling him to speed up but he takes for fucking ever, then proceeds to drag out the battle when we all clearly want to stop. When Ryan was bored he could go talk with his friends but all I could do was sit and bloody wait, and waut, and wait for hours while Ryan was playing with swords and the fucking DM was twiddling his thumbs and giggling about his orcs.
FUCK I am so bloody mad. NOT a good day. I feel like a total brat. *sigh* I just feel like such SHIT! I cant believe how long and borning and angering that day was. he wouldnt even listen to me. How many times did I tell him I was hiding behind the door? he puts me in the middle of the battlefield. I tell him not to, three fucking times, and its only when I tell RYAN to tell him that he listens. Damn it. and the fucking cieling fell on the fucking orcs, five left, and he fucking let them live after three fucking hours of fighting. God damn it, if the cieling almost killed US then why did he fucing draw it out? all for some shity amount of experience that didnt do shit. I fucking hate it. apperently he can tell me to calm down but when people are running around playing with swords and NOT doing what they are suposed to, and being hyper, and ignoring the game, they dont have to calm down. FUCK. I'm never fucking playing with that kid again.

*cough* Yes, I am more then a little peeved -_- NOT in the best of moods. I just wanna fucking stab something.

*sigh* I'm just lucky Ryan kept yelling at them to do things, and telling him to hurry up, and being so sweet to me and hugging me and taking care of me.... *sigh* he's so nice, he's not even mad I dont wanna play anymore. I dont know how I was so lucky as to find someone who could put up with me like him.... I feel bad for rushing his game, but... damn, I was getting so fucking mad, I couldnt help it -_- anyway, I think I'll go find him now.

and as a side not, I love my sexy new LJ< and my Darc/Kharg fic should be posted in a few days, maybe sooner. I've quite proud of it.

Title: Not Quite So Bad
Fandom: YuGiOh
Rating: PG
Pairing: Mai/Mokuba... I find this pairing kinda reminds me of my boyfriend and I... I may write more of this pairing now ^_^
Summery: Just fluff ^_^

( Mokuba/Mai OMG TOP? )

OMFG sexy new LJ *pets* now all I must do is write the fic for the trade... *nodnod* It will be Mai/Mokuba! I am in such a random mood, I spent way to much time reading VG Cats yesterday... and watching clone high xD Oh yeah, me ish odd.

Bbaaaahhhh school, i hate you, I relly truely do. ONE more day this week, I shall slither out of the last one ^^ Its not that i dont like the work or anything, its that A) It gves me huge headaches cuz I lost my glasses, B) It makes me so lonli cuz I dont have good friends there C) The drugs are rediculus there E) I often dont have a lunch cuz we run out of bread or something ... so it gives me hunger pains, a headache, and I get upset because people taunt me.... *sigh* And people wonder why my attendance is so poor -_-

Also i must plan something special for Ryan and I... I dont know what my budget is yet but I want it to be the most special thing ever... and I have no idea what I'm doing -_-;;;

Hmmm its almost the long weekend, I cant wait. I'm so greedy, taking up all of Ryan's time... *sigh* I dont know, I need him, and with things how they are latly... I'm sort of off balance and need someone to cling to. *sigh* I was dreaming about my step mother last night, having to live with her and what not, it wasnt pleasant. I also dreamed I slept in and didnt have to go to school. That wasnt so bad.

Also, fics to be expecting soon from me:

Mokuba/Mai-fluffy
Mokuba/Ryou- dorky behond all reasoning, but I love is
Darc/kharg- to honor my LJ

as a last note, sorry I've been on and off RPing so much, alot os going on, I'll get better in summer, promise, when things cool down -_-

Murdered, that has made you shy and it is a bit

hard for you to trust people. You are afraid

of the dark.


How Did You Die? (Anime Pics)
brought to you by Quizilla


You are a kitsune! Magical and sly, you are one of

the most highly appreciated animals in Asian

mythology. You have many powers such as mind

control and possesing but everything has a

downfall. You can be killed easily by a

person with a strong faith. However, your

powers get you through most of life. Lucky

you!


Which Mythical Creature Are you?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are a Mermaid!
Color:Blue
Animal:Sea Serpent
Stone:Paraiba Tourmaline
Element:Water
Admit it. YOU ARE A PREP. And there is absolutely

NOTHING wrong with that. You view life as a

party and love to have fun. You may be a bit

nasty sometimes but hopefully in time you

will learn to overcome that. You are

actually quite intelligent and secretly,

EXTREMELY secretly, even your enemies admire

your charisma. Your boyfriend is most likely

athletic because he has a lot of energy and

he likes to have fun. He will be like a best

friend to you but never-the-less a great

romantic. For your fighting style, you most

likely view war as a game, which can be

dangerous. As a mermaid you are also able to

transform into a human and are deeply

connected to the water. You call on water to

bend it and can be deadly. I hope you enjoyed

the quiz so cough...rate...cough eat lemons


Which Ultimate Warrior are you? (Breath-taking pics and lenghty results!)
brought to you by Quizilla


Your Hidden Power Is Water

You have a rather calm soul, but when tempted

will get pissed off at those who bug you. You

do whatever you can in your powers to help

those of your allies and have a okay taste

for human kind, but you find them rather

annoying on occasions.

Gem Stone: Saphire, Eye Color:Ice

Blue,Hair Color:Dark Blue that's long

that goes to your waist.

Quote:If you wait for me
Then I'll come for you. Although I've travelled

far, I always hold a place for you
In my heart. If you think of me, If you miss me

once in a while, Then I'll return to you.

I'll return and fill that space in your heart


What Is Your True Hidden Power? .::Beautiful Anime Pics::.
brought to you by Quizilla


Your soul is caring.
Other people are your concern, even if you

don't know them. If you see a person trip you

worry is he is okay. You put your loved ones

first and you're very mature. When someones

sick you're nurturing and always try to help

family and friends when failure strikes them.

You can be called the motherly one, if you

are in a group of people, which doesn't have

to be bad. Love is something that's already

in you and you have a lot to give whether you

believe it or not. Your friends probably love

you very much and come to when they need help

since you're reliable. People can feel secure

with you and generally like you.


How is your soul? [pics]
brought to you by Quizilla

Title: Melanie
Rating: PG or PG13
Warnings: Sex change operations, shades of incest
Pairing: Seto/Mokuba (Or... well... aahh just read it and see -_-;; )
Summary: Mokuba's decided he wants to be somone else, and Seto tries to come to terms.

( The water ran pink that day )

well... its been a while. I am home from school yet again but I am so so bloody sick. Fever, shakes, shivers, headache, most painful cough ever... oowww its so painful it made me cry. I've actually been on the verge of tears alot over the past two days, but I dont wana worry anyone. May be the first time in my life I've cried happy tears. Ryan was so so sweet to me. There are not even words to say it. He was just cuddling me and taking care of me and being so affectionate and keeping me warm when I was so so cold... and feeding me so carefully, giving me things that would feel nice on my throat, apple sauce, cold strawberrys with warm chocolate, chicken noodle soup... and just holding me and keeping me warm for hours and hours... Then he played DDR and he played all the songs I asked him to cuz I was to sick to get up an dance... and he watched Movies with me for so long, and wrapped me in blankets so I cold let go and not shiver so bad... I dont think I've ever felt to good... or so bloody sick. I felt... like I was priceless, worth so much, like I was the most special person ever, like even though I was coughing and being gross and whimpering all the time I was still the best most beautiful person ever... and he said, "How does that go again? In sickness and in health?" and he smiled down at me and I think he kissed my forehead...*blush* Oohh I dont even know how to word it, I just feel... wow. But I think I'll be missing alot of school, I feel SO bloody sick... But I know he'll take care of me <3.

1. What is your occupation? Studant/Bank cleaner (for now, until my boss gets fired from all his banks which seems like its going to happen *dramatic sigh*)
2. Do you like banana sandwiches? With peanut butter, le yum~ Now I'm hungry =_=
3. What are you listening to right now? Nothing, its silent other then my typing... I'm kinda sick and my head is throbbing
4. What was the last thing you ate? Pork chops and yummy rice with pine nuts in it... for dinner uesterday ^^;;
5. Do you wish on stars? When i was small I wished on everything... Now I dont have much I need to wish for ^^ Other then to not lose what I have
6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? The silver kind with real glitter in the crayon, I'm special
7. How is the weather right now? Snowy, and misirable cold, and icy. winter was to nice for to long I guess, cuz now its just being a bitch -_- I hate canadian winters!
8. Last ! person you spoke to on the phone? Uuuhhh.... Ryan, I believe ^^;; I havnr been on the phone in forever... OHOH! no, it was Dave, we were working out when he cold meet me at the bank so he could be half an hour late -_-;;;
9. Do you like the person who sent this to you? Very, very much, he's special to me <3 *hugs*
10. How old are you today? I am sixteen, but if you ask me tomorow I will be seventeen ^^
11. Favorite drink? uuhhh.... pinaple jiuce.... or fancy type desert drinks you get at resteraunts, the ones that are like milkshakes but have all the facy cookie bits and whip cream and special flavors... yeah, very good ^^
12. Favorite sport to watch? I dont watch sports, i am only FIFTY percent gay -_-;; although Ryan assures me if I watch rubby I will adore it...
13. Have you ever dyed your hair? Yeah, once when my hair was light brown i had orange streaks, and often I've dyed it black... but right now its just rich brown...
14. Do you wear contacts or glasses? Glasses for reading... if i could bloody find them -_-;;;
15. Pets? A Cat named Seto, he's fluffy, grey and white, with yellow eyes and a pink nose. Also, a puppy named Ryan, he's cute and petable and is more well behaved then my cat
16. Favorite month? Now its febuary or July... I used to like October best but now its Feb because all mooshed together I have my birthday, then Valintines day, then me and Ryan's 5 month annesersary! but its cold, hence the tie with July... plus, no school= good
18. What was the last movie you watched? Half of Monty Python and the Holly Grial... Thats such a good movie... but tomorow hopefully I'll get to see the corpse bride!!!
19. Favorite day of the year? Either the first day of summer vacation, or september the sixteenth
20. What do you do to vent anger? I rarly get angry, and I hate to let myself because I dont know how to deal with that emotion well... usually I scream to loud music or something... *twitch*
21. What was your favorite toy as a child? My Barbie dolls, no wonder I feel fat all the time -_-
22. Fall or Spring? Fall
23. Hugs or kisses? depends on the person
24. Cherry or Blueberry? Cherry ^^
25. Do you want your friends to email you back? Posting this in my LJ, they can take it if they like ^^
26. Who is most likely to respond? N/A
27. Who is least likely to respond? N/A
28. Living arrangements? With Elli and her dad
29. When was the last time you cried? Thats a bit of a personal question, isnt it? I have not cried for sorrow in the longest time ever. I have not cried for things happening to me or had much to complain about relating to sadness in my self, but I did cry a little for sadness in someone else. I wasnt... sa so much as... I dont know... I feel so close to him when he's sad I feel it inside me to, or something...
30. What is on the floor of your closet? .... I can honestly say I dont know... I dont think I've ever seen the floor in my closet... I dont like closets, they are scary...
31. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Oh Jesus I dont know that -_-
32. What did you do last night? Uuhhh went over to Ryan's house, thought up ways to murmer his arents, gave him lots of hugs, resisted the temptation to do something bitchy behond all belief (okay I wasnt tepted to the point I had to resist or anything, but the thought did cross my mind...), had dinner, worked while sweating bullets (I think I had a fever...) and then went to bed
33. What inspires you? Love
34. What are you afraid of? Being abandoned by those who swore they never would, being alone, forgotten. left on the dark, and also spiders and china dolls
35. Plain, cheese or spicy hamburgers? Cheese and tabasco sauce ^^ le yum~ okay test you are making me hungry and there is very little food about so i damand you bloody FEED ME 8waits for food*...*still waiting*...*waiting*...damn it -_-
36. Favorite car? I dont drive, I dont really care...
37. Favorite dog breed? husky, or german shepord... Probubly the shepord, I knew two very cute ones ^^;; although one I knew when I was little and it could takle me to the ground so i was scared of it... but still... now that I think of it, it was a friendly puppy ^^
38. How long at your current job? about 2 weeks?
40. Favorite day of the week? Saterday, no work and no school
41. How many states have you lived in? 0, I live in the great (albiet frozen at the moment) land of Canada... unless someone doesnt shoot Steven Harper, thenI'm moving...
42. How many cities have you lived in? I think two or three... Surry and Brampton are the ones I can remember, but I know I loved near the mountains when I was little...
43. What is the last book you read? I finished "Blood and Chocolate" a while ago and an now slowly but surly working my way through the first book in the sword of truth series...
44. Did you notice there was no #39? No Joan, no I did not

I'm sick of always having to say sorry. I'm sick of always feeling like I'm not good enough. I need to rework how i think. I'm not always the one at fault. I am good enough.

I need to remember that.

And Ryan helps me with that. I feel bad he has to say it over and over and over again. But I know that he will, because he's told me over and over again the keeping me happy and healthy is the most importan thing to him. And i believe him. I have never ever been the most important to someone. I have been lied to and told I was, but now I can tell... I can tell so clearly that its true. How he acts, how he treats me, just... I dont even know how to explain it. I know I'm important to him. He doesnt just tell me, he shows me. I feel horrible for being scared. There is nothing he could say, nothing he could do to show me that my fears are irrelivant, because every day, every single day he does everything I could ever hope for.

I know he loves me, I know because I can see it n everything he does. I wish I could give him back as much as he gives me. I try tho, I really do. Sometimes I know he wants to do something, like work on a puzzle, but he'll just sit and cuddle with me because its what i want... and I guess the temptation is to great ^^;; I wanna give as much to him as he gives to me. He's always saying he wished he could do more, but he does so so much... he always just wants to help me, so so much... I still cant believe sometimes, that the words he is saying are so so true... and I feel so lucky... and I just want to be with him so so much and I dont wanna be scared any more... I dont have to be scared or sorry anymore...

I love him so so much. I'll say it over and over again becuse its never enough...

*cough* ON a less gushy note I got a job... I'll be making roughtly 160$ a month, but I dont know what I'll be saving up for. Probubly anime, and a DVD player... cuz I'm most likely getting my TV and mangas and books from BC... I hope I get that stuff soon...